So first things first, I havent had real sleep in days. I tend to be a night person so I easily fall into a habit of staying up all night long no matter how exhausting my day was. 

Personally I blame this on a serious case of FMS

Fear of Missing Something.

Its stupid, I know, but its the only valid excuse I can think of. So lately I've been  figuring Ill stay up all night, if I REALLY have to sleep I nap for 2-3 hours during the day (thats all I can sleep if I've already been awake during day time unless I'm sick or its past 4 pm), and then I figure I'll finally wear myself down enough that I'll have to sleep a normal time. I think it was 2 or 3 nights ago that I almost accomplished this, but then ended up waking up cause me and Jay had planned to watch "Gamer" which was okay, I guess. The plot was interesting, and Michael C. Hall's dance scene was funny, but, its not like I'll watch it again real soon.

I'm re-reading all my Ellen Hopkins books as something of a prelude for "Fallout". I'm saving Crank and Glass for last so Fallout will make more sense. Though I'm sure I'll make myself read them again the week of my birthday which is 3 days before Fallout comes out. 

Yesterday I ordered "Charmed Knits: Projects for Harry Potter fans", and I really can NOTTT wait till it arrives!!! Its supposed to ship out on the 15th which I wish it got shipped out sooner. I do knit. I crochet more, because I'm faster and more efficient and have more crochet supplies (I cant afford a set of knitting needles etc I have a size 8 and then a large size, I forget what). Either way I can learn to knit the patterns, OR I could just convert them to Crochet. Supposedly, there is a way to do it. I've never done it before, but I'm sure I could figure it out. I really want to make Myself a Gryffindor scarf, but I dont think they have the colors I want for the Yarn I use anywhere close by, and I dont have the money right now to order it. Well uncle Ollie said he finished my Letter of Recommendation for the comic shop, so hopefully I'll have some Dinero sooner rather than later. 

Along with the "Charmed Knits" I ordered "Beauty" by Amy Reed. I cant lie, the fact that A. Ellen Hopkins gave a good review and B. that it was referred to as a "Latter Day "Go Ask Alice" really had a lot to do with my decision to buy it. Though of course the name and the cover is what drew me in. I already read an Excerpt and I really cannot WAIT to read it. I really wish it was here already.

Go Ask Alice really made me realize that the writing I was doing at 13ish could be considered a real story rather than just putzing around. "Go Ask Alice" opened a door for me, and I havent looked back since. Actually I think I lost my copy of Go Ask Alice =(. I'll have to get another.

Sometimes I wonder if theres something wrong with me, that I focus on these kinds of stories. Not only to write but their my preference to read. Dont get me wrong, I love reading about warrior queens in far away places and Princesses befriending dragons as much as the next girl (and harry potter, we cant forget Harry Potter, cause I really enjoy him), but theres something about these hard truth gritty real life novels that I get. It clicks into place.

Books like Sarah, and The Heart is Deceitful Above all Things by JT Leroy. Burned, Impulse, Identical, Tricks, Crank, Glass by Ellen Hopkins. Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks. Even the movie Thirteen. Thats just to name a few.

Books that talk about Abuse. Drugs, Sex, Physical, Mental, Emotional. Abuse of Power, Abuse of Children, Abuse of Self. I read about that stuff and despite never having been an addict, never having been abused in any way, something inside me clicks. Something inside me relates. 

Maybe I'll

Go ask Alice, 

I think she'll know
When logic 

and proportion 

have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight 

is talking backwards
And the red queen's 

"Off with her head"
Remember 

what the dormouse said
Feed your head, 

feed your head!!!

 

White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane

I dont really know what to say. I guess I'll just talk about my day.

So It started out looking like a dark day. Clouds hung over my non-existent bed post, and a soft drizzle engulfed my personal bubble. Last night was a rough night, but this post isnt about rough nights. Its about the mornings that follow. My stomach hurt and I was angry and Jay, which I never like to be, and more than that I was angry at myself. Before I knew it the day had begun and there were things to be tweeted about and absolutely nothing to do. perhaps our heroin should have buckled down and worked on the book that has been calling to her day and night. I mean, after all, The first installment of "Briar Keep" is on the last chapter, with the prologue for book 2 already set and waiting to go, but she didnt open her Scrivner. She could easily have grabbed some yarn and begun on the baby blanket she intended to crochet for her boyfriends older sister, who was now starting to show, but her crochet hooks sat in their orange bag, all but forgotten and the yarn thats texture she was so proud of sat in the ac moore bag, neglected. No today was a black day, and nothing could be accomplished. 

lets rifle forward a few chapters, cause quite honestly... nothing much happened in my day.

Her eyes alighted upon a tweet from her friend Josie about an authors podcast, and where normally her eyes would have slid up her Echofon page something caught her eye, the name of her favorite author Ellen Hopkins. it occured to her that a new book was due out by the author in not to long, if memory served correctly, which it indeed did, she learned as she came to wikipedia, confirming that the book "Fallout" was due in 2010. As her fingers tapped furiously she turned her sights to the Borders website. Excitement growing in her breast, and there she learned that the book she had so eagerly been awaiting would be released on september 14th only 3 days after her birthday. This information cause her to do something, that for her, was completely unheard of. She Fangirled. She squealed, she tweeted, she conferenced with herself over whether or not to pre-order the book. and then it happened. She looked at her twitter and there. Her favorite author had just At'd her on twitter. Luckily for all who could hear, she was not the type to scream when excited, but her heart did stop. Her hands began to shake and after passing on the awesome news, she gave a hasty farewell to her dad who she had been talking to on the phone.

Lol so yes. My favorite author Ellen Hopkins tweeted at me today. Not once, but twice! I was so excited. I didnt know what to do with myself! I hadnt even been talking to her or anything! I could barely contain myself, and hoenstly after how my day had began things had finally turned around and begun to look up =D. I finally felt better, and I was finally in good spirits. Nothing much has happened since that, but that was so awesome to experience!

anyway

I really dont know what more to say. So I end this blog with an adieu and fare thee well.

*Takes a Bow*